People who worry about the opinions of others become chameleons and life becomes a juggling act. They are always changing, and usually faking, their likes and dislikes to gain the approval of others.
Because we are forever trying to please everyone so everyone will have a good opinion of us, we forget—or worse yet, we never really know who we are or what it is we want for ourselves. We simply want what we think everyone else thinks we should want. As a result, few people actually know what they want although they can recite a litany of things they know they don’t want. Not knowing what you do want makes getting it nearly impossible.
The need for approval can lead some to engage in behavior that contradicts their personal values and morals for the validation they need. There is nothing they won’t do to get that validation. We often refer to this poor choice of behavior as succumbing to peer pressure, and it drives both teenagers and adults.
Some people seem to have totally given up on approval from others, claiming they don’t care what others think of them. They make it very clear they have no interest in the opinions of others. In reality, this is their roundabout way to elicit a good opinion from others. They assume that others will have a good opinion of them because they don’t care what anyone thinks about them.
How have you contradicted your values and morals just to make sure someone, especially your chosen peer group, has a good opinion of you? What were the results of your choice to do so?
