“Me first, you second” is an attitude that few of us were conditioned to believe is okay. Putting ourselves first is frowned upon by many.
While taking care of “me first, you second” is completely opposite of what most of us have been taught, there’s more to the concept than you might think.
Many of us put others first because we want them to like us and have a good opinion of us. Others do it because we have been taught it is the only right thing to do. Like me, you may have been taught that you are a better person when you take care of everyone else before yourself.
We are considered virtuous if we take care of everyone else prior to tending to our own needs. Many of us notice that people like us better when we are selfless.
There’s a general misconception in our society that selfishness is bad and that it’s wrong to put yourself before others. Selfishness has a negative connotation. The phrases “it’s all about me” and “looking out for number one” imply that you are conceited, arrogant, or self-centered. They very seldom imply that you are a healthy individual who has self-dependent esteem.
How can you help someone feel empowered or give to someone the things that you do not possess for yourself? Caring about others starts with caring about yourself first. Loving yourself first is key in the ability to love others. It’s OK to give yourself permission to put yourself first and others second.
I know it’s not as easy as it sounds. But my book “Good With Me” can take you step by step through the process of being the person you always dreamed of being.
