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December 29, 2014

We’re All in the Approval Business

Which kind of approval business are you in? Self-Dependent or Other-Dependent?

People who need approval from others are other-dependent and usually don’t even know it. As an example, they don’t realize that needing to have the best job at the best workplace in town in order to look good to others is being other-dependent. They may even have to be recognized as the best performer on the best job at the best workplace in town to boot because they can’t handle criticism and disapproval…not even a little bit.

Some people are so dependent upon the approval of others that they will stick it out at a job they don’t like just for the approval they receive from others. They often dread going to the workplace and are stressed to the max because of their constant worry about what others think about them.

There are others that do just the opposite when they are other-dependent. These people go out of their way to make a point that they don’t need approval from others which is just a smokescreen to cover up their attempt to get another kind of approval.

approvalThey like getting approval for their coolness as someone who appears to be ‘carefree’ and ‘their own person.’ Hiding their need for approval takes a lot of work and faking being laidback and detached is very stressful. It can even be difficult for coworkers to spot that these people are stressed to the max trying to get the approval they need from others because of their nonchalant behavior.

To the contrary, people who are self-dependent don’t have to stress-out about getting approval from others. People with self-dependent esteem like who they are from the inside out. They are not dependent upon approval from others. Their approval comes from within themselves. They have fun in the workplace and are grateful for the opportunity to use their unique skills. They don’t stress themselves by having to outperform everyone else…they don’t engage in petty rivalry and competition to be the best just for the approval they receive from others. In fact they don’t need approval from others because it’s the approval they have for themselves that is enough. It is what matters.

If you identify with the need for approval from others even just a little bit, be sure to get your copy of Good With Me: A Simple Approach to Real Happiness from the Inside Out to find out how to be in the Self-Dependent Approval Business instead of the Other-Dependent Approval Business.

 

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Patricia Noll


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