When we don’t realize we are good enough just the way we are, we don’t trust our own opinions. So we give more value to the opinions of others than to our own.
We depend upon others to give us the approval we crave because we are unable to give it to ourselves. In fact, the approval we need has to come from others or we go without. We more often than not allow the opinions of others to sway the decisions we make and don’t even ask ourselves why we do it. Most of us don’t even realize we’re doing it. It’s just what we do.
For example, have you ever tried on an article of clothing at a retail store and thought you looked pretty good in it, but you hesitated to buy it because you doubted your own opinion? Did you need someone else’s opinion first? Perhaps you did the obvious and asked the sales clerk for an opinion. What made you need an opinion from the sales clerk prior to making the decision to buy? Why wasn’t your own opinion good enough?
Once the sales clerk, probably a total stranger, validated that you looked great, you made your purchase. You bought an article of clothing based upon the way the sales clerk thought you looked in it.
And what happened next? You got home and your spouse, sibling, or parent didn’t like it on you. Uh-oh! Now what? Since you want them to approve of the way you dress, and you value someone else’s opinion more than your own, you wondered what you were thinking when you bought this piece of clothing. There is no question that you doubt your own opinion, but you no longer trust the sales clerk’s opinion either. After all, she probably works on commission and only said it looked good on you so she could make a sale. So you decided to return it to the store, all the while hoping the same sales clerk wouldn’t be there when you did. What would she think of you?
How important are the opinions of others about you? Do you allow other people’s opinions of you to determine the choices you make? Make a list.
