Happiness that comes from self-dependent esteem is priceless! Unhappiness is the price of other-dependent needs. Other dependent needs lead to poor choices, plenty of consequences, and ultimately unhappiness. The price of other-dependent needs is costly.
While some poor choices result in “losing it all” as a result of over-the-top destructive behavior, seemingly innocent attempts to fulfill one’s other dependent needs are actually more prevalent. Both come with a price even though some poor choices seem to have no consequence at all.
Society may actually view some of these poor choices as admirable. Working way too many hours is a good example of satisfying an other-dependent need even though working hard is seen by many as a good choice. How can working hard possibly be the result of an other-dependent need, especially since work is so highly valued in our society?
When the motivation is the need for approval from others, working 24/7 might be considered a small price to pay. Becoming the classic “workaholic” is viewed by many as an admirable choice of behavior because it shows a good work ethic. This workaholic is outwardly a good provider, is not doing anything wrong, and is often perceived as a “pillar of the community.” He even receives kudos for working so hard.
Working 24/7 satisfies his other dependent needs because he looks good to others and receives plenty of approval to boot. After all, he is working and not irresponsibly drinking beer at the local pub or cheating on his spouse waiting at home.
Notice if your unhappiness has simply become normal for you. Are you trapped in a catch-22 of other-dependent needs that lead to more unhappiness, and unhappiness that leads to more other-dependent needs?
