People who aren’t happy with who they are from the inside out, who think they are not good enough, who think there is something wrong with them because they are not happy like everyone else, need the approval of others.
They worry about what others think about them. As a result they always have to look good to others, be right, and be in control of the way things turn out. That is the only way they seem to experience any measure of okayness.
You see, without knowing it they have been taught to be other-dependent. What does that mean? Well, it means that our other-dependent society has taught them that their value is defined by someone or something outside of them…what they know, who they know, what they have, what they do, and how good they are at what they do. In other words, an other-dependent society places more value on those who are the best at what they do.
So the never-ending goal becomes that of always being seen as the best…to always stay at the top of your game for the approval, the admiration, the respect, the applause, the paycheck, the promotion, the part, the prize, and the gold medal. Do you join me in thinking that it might take a lot of energy to always be the best?
What is most misunderstood about the need for other-dependent esteem is that some of the most successful people in the world have no self-esteem, even though they may think they do. Their other-dependent esteem is their driving force to be the best. And you might say there’s nothing wrong with that, is there? No…there is nothing wrong with being the best when you’re doing it for the fun of it, but when you always have to be at the top of your game for the approval of others or to look good, it is almost always more stressful than fun.
While most of us have been taught that we are only as good as our stuff or our accomplishments along with the approval of others, very few have been taught that it is actually the way we think about ourselves that determines how happy or unhappy we are with who we are.
Have you ever paid attention to how long you feel good after receiving a compliment from someone? It usually isn’t too long before you need another one to keep that good feeling. But the good thoughts you have about yourself have a longer lasting effect. In other words, even though we have become dependent upon the good thoughts of others to feel good, it’s the good thoughts we have about ourselves that really make a difference…they’re the ones that truly matter.
People who commit suicide are a good example of that. They can receive approval, admiration, respect, be the very best in what they do, and even be loved by the entire world, and it isn’t enough. The only thing that will ever be enough is to be happy with who they are no matter what.
Thought is everything. Thought is powerful. Our thoughts, whether accurate or inaccurate, create our reality of ourselves and life.
It’s important to know that if our thinking is powerful enough to bring us down, even to a very low place, it is also powerful enough to bring us back up.
Join me in this life changing conversation. Let me know what you think in the space provided for comments. And be sure to get your FREE copy of the 1st Chapter of Good With Me below to begin your own life-changing experience that leads to real happiness from the inside out.
