Just as most of us have been taught to be other-dependent, similarly most of us have been taught that there is something wrong or bad about being different. Even when we are told it’s okay to be different, we don’t really believe it because of the way society responds to being different.
Here is a sampling of how much of society around the world responds to being different.
Example 1: Your skin color is different from mine. You are bad.
Example 2: Your beliefs are different from mine. You are wrong.
Example 3: Your government is different from ours. You are bad and wrong.
Here is some food for thought. We all have different life experiences. Everyone doesn’t see life through the same lens. When you disparage others because they are different from you, it isn’t because there is something wrong with them. You may think there is something wrong with them because you are not okay with yourself. The reality is that we judge others to the degree we judge ourselves. We criticize others to the extent we criticize ourselves. Different is wrong and bad for those who are other-dependent.
Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, internationally renowned author and speaker, says, “When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.”
Contrary to different being wrong or bad, some people view being different as a good thing. When individuals think they are better than others because of their differences, their mantra is: “I am different because I am better than you.” They may think they are better than you because they have more money, more intelligence, more talent, more social status, or more of anything. They don’t need to be different just like you; they don’t even want to be like you because they think they are better than you.
Do you need to be more and have more than others to convince yourself that you are better than others? Do you believe that “your kind of different” makes you better than others?