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October 26, 2015

Self Esteem: “Sit down and think about how good you are!”

As children, most of us received a lot of help in the “think-it-over” department. How many times were you told to “sit there and think about what you just did?”

Young child sitting in corner as punishment

This statement usually followed a behavior that was considered bad, inappropriate, unacceptable, or all three. This might seem like a perfectly innocent statement made by many parents when disciplining young children. Since discipline is defined as instruction or training which corrects, molds, or strengthens the individual, what happens to the child who is instructed to “sit there and think about what you just did” when what you just did was bad? How many times did you think that ‘you were bad’?

Where was the distinction between ‘you’ and ‘your behavior’? Were you being taught to think about the wrong thing? Were you being trained to think about how bad or unacceptable you were instead of how good you were? Do we really want to nurture this kind of thinking? Is it wise?

On the other hand, did anyone ever tell you to “sit down and think about how good you are?”

Exploration and Discovery: Sit down and think about how good you are. Repeat this throughout this day and every day for the remainder of your life. Can’t think of anything good about you? If not, then make something up and think about it over and over again throughout the day. Don’t mistake this for encouraging untrue and delusional thinking. There is something good about every single one of us. Sometimes we just have to find it—and beginning with something made up may lead you to the truth about the good in you.

You could even ask a friend or family member to point out something good about you and think about it over and over again throughout the day. Or find a word in the dictionary that describes a good trait or characteristic in you that you had forgotten you had and make it your mantra for the day. Then find a new word to describe a good trait or characteristic about yourself each and every day.

It’s time to take these exercises a little further…

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Patricia Noll


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