A noticeable sign that you are gaining some self-dependent esteem is that the ongoing negative chatter will no longer exist in the forefront of your mind.
The negative chatter may not totally disappear at first, but you will start to notice that it’s moving further and further to the back of your thoughts. Worrying about others opinions, the need to look good, be right, and control outcomes, will fade away right along with the negative voice in your head. You begin to notice that what other people are thinking about you doesn’t matter so much. You’ll no longer allow others to victimize you with the way they think about you, nor will you continue to victimize yourself with your own thoughts. Another noticeable measure of success is when the conversations you are having with yourself about yourself begin to change.
Instead of saying, “Why are those people laughing at me? They must be laughing at me because I look weird,” the little voice that used to put you down has changed to, “Look at those people laughing. They must be having fun.”
In other words, you are beginning to realize that not everything is about you. With that realization, your level of self-consciousness will lessen. You’ll begin to stop personalizing everything. Your exaggerated sense of self-importance will begin to disappear. You’ll become more aware of the existence of other people and you will be more aware of your surroundings.
Your measure of success will also be evidenced by the way you feel. As you engage in deliberate intentional practice in order to change your thoughts and actualize self-dependent esteem, you will have to listen closely to your own internal barometer in order to measure your success. Your internal barometer in this case is the way you feel. You’ll discover that little signals will start appearing that tell you that you are making the switch from other-dependent esteem to self-esteem.
Chart your success by paying attention to how good/happy you feel. Notice how much better you feel about yourself with no strings attached. Start with the book Good With Me to keep on the right path!
