The following example illustrates how worry develops:
Imagine that you are stuck in traffic. The traffic is not moving at all or it’s moving too slowly for your liking. As a result, you begin to think about all the things that could go wrong today if this traffic doesn’t get moving — and soon! You start thinking about what could go wrong if you don’t arrive at your destination on time. You start thinking about everything that could go wrong if you are late. You might miss your flight; you might be fired from your job; you might not get the big contract; you might miss the wedding ceremony; you might miss out on dinner; you might be late for the movie; you might be late to pick your child up after school; and the list goes on.
In addition to your initial worry, you soon start wondering what others will think about you because you’re late. You begin to worry about looking bad to others if you are late — then you worry that they might be angry with you. You are thinking yourself into a frenzied feeling of worry about the outcome of something that hasn’t happened yet and might not ever happen! Soon your frenzied feeling of worry increases to the point of acting out. Before you realize what is happening, you are name calling, horn blowing, or engaging in any number of inappropriate behaviors.
Of course, none of your negative thoughts or behaviors do a thing to fix the situation — therefore your worry is futile.
Someone else in the same traffic situation sits back, relaxes, and waits calmly. This individual knows there is nothing he can do about the traffic situation, so he starts thinking about how to make the day work out in case this slow moving traffic doesn’t get moving soon.
Since the mind is more creative in a relaxed state, this individual is able to think about
solutions to the situation. He might check on alternative flights and call ahead to advise of his possible late arrival. He might reschedule an appointment or dinner date. Even though he would rather not be stuck in traffic and would rather not be late, he simply does whatever can be done given the situation. Then he kicks back and continues to enjoy the day knowing that the situation is temporary.
This example shows two people and two different outcomes from the same situation. One is
worried, the other is not. Since everyone caught in the slow moving traffic isn’t feeling worried, what is the difference between these two examples? Thinking! Thinking! Thinking!
