Most individuals engage in some kind of behavior or rely upon another person in their attempt to rid themselves of their uncomfortable feelings and to make themselves feel a little bit better.
In reality, most of society is generally doing whatever it takes on the outside to reduce feelings of inadequacy and anxiety on the inside. They are trying to create a ruse for themselves that they are as good as everyone else. Undeniably, many of these people and behaviors can have a negative effect which results in even more problems, some worse than others. Of course, you already know that.
When we don’t know what the real problem is, much less how to fix it, we depend upon someone or something outside of ourselves to escape from feeling bad.
Look at your list of negative, bad, or uncomfortable feelings you have attempted to change. Now make a list of the people, places, or things that you have depended upon to make you feel better. What was the result of each? Did they work or not? What additional problems were created by them?
When we are other-dependent and see things through our lens of not being good enough instead of believing we are good enough as we are, in effect we become expert escape artists.
The need to escape is powerful for individuals who are other-dependent and don’t feel good about themselves. They often feel as though their world is falling apart or are simply waiting for something to go wrong. This need is equally as powerful for those who feel that life hasn’t turned out the way it was supposed to. It is just as great for those who feel even a little bit bad from time to time. People looking for escape become extremely skilled at creating ways to avoid feeling bad.
