The million dollar question is — how do you learn to manage your thinking to avoid creating stressful feelings?
One way to learn how to manage your thinking is to use something similar to one of Cesar Millan’s dog training techniques.2 Cesar Millan emphasizes that “You must gain control of the situation and dog behavior before it escalates.” Similarly, you have to gain control of your thinking by catching your first single negative thought in the act of becoming a single negative thought before it escalates into a stressed-out situation. A single negative thought is just a single negative thought unless or until it is out of control and escalates to more negative thoughts which can very quickly become stress.
To gain control you must notice the very first thought of worry, fear, anxiety, pressure, or an impending threat. That is when the first hint of stress begins. To repeat, you have to notice the first hint of a single negative thought — then immediately distract yourself by thinking a single positive thought before that single negative thought escalates to a multitude of negative thoughts that intensify to an unmanageable level of stress. Since feeling stressed-out begins with a single negative thought, the sooner you recognize your first negative thought, the easier it will be to change it to a single positive thought and avoid feeling stressed.
Practice changing negative stress-producing thoughts into positive, calming thoughts. Pick a situation in which you would normally become stressed. Identify the type of thoughts you would normally have in that situation. Can you identify the stress-producing thoughts? Once you have identified the stress-producing thoughts, change them to positive, calming thoughts.
