Unhappy people are good people who aren’t happy with themselves.
Unlike happy people, unhappy people are always looking for ways to feel good or at least a little bit better. Deep down inside, they don’t like themselves, even though most will never admit it. Because they don’t really like themselves, it isn’t unusual that they don’t like others either — even though they may pretend that they do. When people are critical of themselves, they are critical of others. Because they harshly judge themselves, they judge others harshly as well. They engage in behaviors and activities that perpetuate their unhappiness even when their goal is to be happy. Take a look at the list that follows. Make a check beside each one with which you identify. Unhappy people who do not feel good about themselves:
□do whatever it takes to look good to others
□tell little white lies to look good to others
□live to please others
□take better care of others than themselves
□argue a point to the nth degree
□alienate friends just to be right
□make themselves sick with worry
□worry about what others think of them
□manipulate others to control the way things turn out
□bully others to get their way
□are hurtful of others
□take frustrations out on their spouse, children, or friends
□have little to no compassion for others
□become self-centered
□need a lot of validation from others
□gossip about others
□complain a lot
□need a lot of the right possessions
□remain employed in a job or career they hate just for the money or social approval
□cheat to get the promotion or pay raise
□have excessive spending habits
□keep credit card debt a secret
□hide compulsive eating habits
□remain in abusive relationships
□engage in self-mutilation
□participate in unprotected sex with multiple partners
□turn to pornography for sexual excitement
□drink and drive
□use illegal drugs
□steal for drug money
□doctor shop by making appointments with numerous doctors to obtain large quantities of
medications
□write fraudulent prescriptions for drugs
□take part in a variety of “you-fill-in-the-blank” risky behaviors.
For some, unhappiness is so severe that it leads to behaviors that cause divorce, loss of friends, bankruptcy, poor health, loss of reputation, violence, arrests, imprisonment, or death.
