Your self esteem is within you and it will follow you wherever you go. You can’t escape and run from the feelings you have about yourself.
Let’s say that a certain person relocated to a new city because he just knew everything would be great once he got there. He knew moving to a new place was exactly what he needed to make him happy. And he was right! It was absolutely fabulous for a little while. He never felt so good. But — oh no — it didn’t last.
As soon as the novelty of the new place wore off, his old depressed feelings about his life resurfaced. Life didn’t seem to be much different here than it was before the move. He began to notice that he didn’t feel as happy anymore. It became harder than ever to get out of bed in the morning. He even started to wonder if he had made a mistake by moving. He began to think he might have been better off back where he came from. Why this change in thinking? Because moving didn’t fix the real problem. If where he had been living was the real problem, he would have continued feeling happy in the new place. Moving to the new location provided a temporary distraction that seemed to make him feel good — even happy — for a little while.
Once again, in this example, the place in which he lived was not the real problem. Since the happiness in the new location didn’t last, then it must follow that the location, old or new, was just a symptom of the real problem. When he moved, he had to take himself along too. He was other-dependent. He depended upon a particular location to make him happy. If he can’t be happy in one location, he won’t be happy in the next one because being happy is not about the location. When he doesn’t feel good about himself and is other-dependent, he won’t feel good regardless of where he is. All that really happened is that he and his problem — his other-dependency and the way he feels about himself — changed locations.
It doesn’t matter where you go because once there, there you are. It doesn’t matter where you live. It matters how you feel about yourself wherever you live. Let me help you take care of this problem so you have the freedom to make the choices you really want.
