Let’s be honest. Most of us were not taught how to make ourselves feel good.
We weren’t taught how to make ourselves feel happy either. In fact, we have been taught just the opposite. We were taught by our parents, grandparents, older siblings, aunts and uncles, school teachers, religious leaders, advertising media, social media, and just about anyone else we can think of to expect that someone or something outside of ourselves would make us happy.
We were taught to be other-dependent! That’s why most of us depend upon someone or something outside of ourselves to make us feel good. And you know as well as I know this kind of other-dependency doesn’t work! In fact, having other-dependent esteem is the root of unhappiness, discontent, addiction, anger, rage, violence, and even criminal behavior and suicide. It’s a box we must free ourselves from if we truly want to be happy.
For example, were you one of those babies who didn’t walk as early as your mom’s best friend’s baby? Did you know your ABC’s before you began preschool? Did you know how to write cursive in kindergarten? Could you read better than the rest of the class? Were you the best in academics or athletics? Were you popular at recess? Were you wearing the right tennis shoes or blue jeans? Did you graduate with honors?
Why was any of this important? What message did it give us about how we should be? Are you beginning to get the picture?
