Everyone wants to be happy, but who among us even knows what happiness is? How can anyone experience real happiness when most don’t know what it is or how to have it? How can anyone experience real happiness when it appears to be a moving target? Just about the time we think we’re happy, the requirements for our happiness change and we move onto the next thing we think will make us happy. What we thought would make us happy yesterday doesn’t make us happy today.
Most of us define happiness as having the right material possessions, the right friends, the right parents, the right kids, the right education, the right job, the right accomplishments, and all the rest of the next right “you-fillin-the-blank” stuff.
Most of us have been indoctrinated by parents, teachers, social media, the advertising media, and even song lyrics that someone or something out there will make us happy. As a result, we’ve become focused on acquiring the right things, finding the right person, and doing the right things that are supposed to make us happy.
To this, my client Richard says, “I am not my stuff, not my jeans, not my television, my car, my bank account or my vocation. I think of all of this stuff, and none of it is who I am.”
Of course this list of all the right things is constantly changing. At first we need one of these; then we need one of those, and before long we need more and more of the “right” things to keep us happy. We conclude that more of everything must be what it takes. Before we know it, we have become dependent upon what we think we need to keep us happy, whether it makes us happy or not. We have become other-dependent.
What were you taught about what it takes to be happy in life? What is your definition of happiness? Remember, it can be whatever it is for you right now. Write it down and save it for later.
