How important is it to you that everything turns out the way you think it should? Are you someone who worries about the way situations may or may not turn out?
Does everything in its entirety need to turn out the way you think it should? Are you overly concerned with outcomes or results? Individuals who are attached to the way everything turns out generally go to great lengths to make the whole kit and caboodle happen in a way they think it should happen. Control and manipulation are often used to make sure they get their way — to make others do what they think others should do and to have everything happen their way. If necessary, dishonesty can play a part in achieving a desired outcome — their desired outcome.
In your attempt to control an outcome, you might not be so obvious or malicious in your attempt to gain control of the situation. Some examples of this are crying, withholding, pouting, yelling, or lecturing. Controlling could take the form of emotional, verbal, or behavioral coercion.
What do you do to get everything to turn out the way you think it should and get your own way? You are going to have to be brutally honest with yourself on this one. You may not have ever paid any attention to how unacceptable and inappropriate your choice of behaviors is. It is important to make you aware that your lack of self-dependent esteem and your need for other-dependent esteem can make it nearly impossible for you to identify your unacceptable and inappropriate choice of behaviors. Do the best you can with it. Remember: the more honest you can be with yourself, the greater the progress will be toward becoming a Good With Me person.
