Even though the goal is to escape from unhappiness, no one wants to have an addiction as defined by the dictionary—“physically dependent upon a particular substance; devoted to a particular interest or activity”—to do so.
My definition of addiction is actually the same as my definition for other-dependency: being dependent upon someone or something outside of yourself to make you feel good, or at the very least, feel better now. Everyone who has an addiction is other-dependent. People who are other-dependent often make poor choices in an attempt to feel good.
Actually all addictive behaviors are driven by the extreme need to feel good. While an addictive behavior could be one that is easily identifiable such as alcoholism, drug abuse, an eating disorder, compulsive shopping or gambling, it could be any other frequent and habitual activity that has an adverse effect upon you and your life in an attempt to feel good.
Some individuals depend upon a whole array of preferred coping mechanisms, often referred to as one’s “drug of choice,” to face all the problems, fears, stressors, or other adversities that make up life as they know it.
Their dependency upon these coping mechanisms to make them feel good, or at least a little less bad, grows over time because they don’t know any other way to make themselves feel better, let alone feel good— and addiction ensues.
When the only way you seem able to make yourself feel better is outside of you, you have become dependent upon those “somethings” or “someones” for the sole purpose of relief. You are other-dependent and have become addicted.
If you or someone you know needs help with addiction, take a simple step and start with this book.