You can make the switch from other-dependent esteem to self-dependent esteem by doing all of the things for yourself that you have been doing for others.
You stop waiting around for others to reciprocate your good deeds. Instead, you nurture yourself. Nurture yourself. Do all of the things for yourself that you do for others. Do the things for yourself that you want others to do for you.
As you nurture yourself your own psyche will begin to notice the change. It could feel uncomfortable at first but don’t quit. Keep on nurturing yourself and before you know it you will begin to think that you have value. When you treat yourself as though you count you will begin to have a healthy sense of self-importance. The more times you repetitively practice nurturing yourself with deliberate intention, the quicker your thinking about yourself will change. The sooner it will be comfortable to put you first and others second.
You might find this hard to believe, but it’s a compliment when the people you have always placed before yourself accuse you of becoming selfish. They have just provided you with evidence that your practice is working. You are moving in a healthy and positive direction.
When someone tells you how selfish you are becoming as you practice healthy selfishness by setting healthy boundaries, respond with a simple “Thank You.”
They don’t realize that they have actually given you a compliment. Their compliment is proof that your repetitive practice with deliberate intention is working for you. You no longer have to take care of everyone else first so that they like you and have a good opinion of you. Pleasing others is no longer your first priority. You are shifting from other-dependent esteem to self-dependent esteem.
