People who don’t take good care of themselves are often very angry and act out their anger in a myriad of ways. Their anger could explode and manifest itself as physical bullying, verbal abuse, domestic violence, and even murder.
Conversely, it could implode and manifest as self-criticism, self-loathing, self-mutilation, and even suicide. Numerous studies show that anger management seldom works, but some of you already know that. The key to dissipating anger is self-dependent esteem. With that, the anger disappears. It’s almost like magic.
How can we not be angry when we think we’re not good enough or when there seems to be something wrong with us?
When you take care of everyone else first, you give yourself the message that you aren’t as important as they are. When you take care of yourself first, you actually give your own psyche the message that you are just as important as everyone else. You give yourself the message that you have as much value as they have, that you are just as worthy. This is the beginning of making a shift to the positive thinking-feeling-doing loop for you.
You can make the switch from other-dependent esteem to self-dependent esteem by doing all of the things for yourself that you have been doing for others. You stop waiting around for others to reciprocate your good deeds. Instead, you nurture yourself.
Nurture yourself. Do all the things for yourself that you do for others. Do the things for yourself that you want others to do for you.
As you nurture yourself your own psyche will notice the change. It could feel uncomfortable at first but don’t quit. Keep on nurturing yourself and before you know it you will think that you have value. When you treat yourself as though you count you will begin to have a healthy sense of self-importance. The more times you repetitively practice nurturing yourself with deliberate intention, the quicker your thinking about yourself will change—and the sooner it will be comfortable to put you first and others second.
You might find this hard to believe, but it’s a compliment when the people you have always placed before yourself accuse you of becoming selfish. They have just provided you with evidence that your practice is working. You are moving in a healthy and positive direction.
