German-born theoretical physicist, Albert Einstein (1879-1955), was correct when he said “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” Likewise, we can’t change our other-dependent esteem with the same thinking we used to create it.
The kind of thinking you do about yourself is dependent upon the way you esteem yourself and the way you esteem yourself is dependent upon the way you think about yourself. Take ownership of the way you think and feel about yourself. Wake up from your automatic pilot thinking and begin to monitor the way you are thinking about you. What kind of thoughts do you think about yourself? What is the driving force behind them? It can be hard at first to identify a thought. If this is the case for you, the feeling you are having is your clue to the thought you are thinking. Your feelings can help you identify the thoughts that led to them. Identify the way you feel about yourself first. Once you identify the way you feel, ask yourself what you were thinking to create this way of feeling.
This is how it works. You are going along feeling confident about meeting your new employer when out of the blue you start to feel anxious. Before you begin to feel sick with worry, immediately back up in your mind to see what you have been thinking. A thought always precedes the feeling. You have to identify the thought that has suddenly caused the anxiety and change that thought to something that will make you feel confident again.
If it seems impossible to change your thinking, then recite a nursery rhyme or the lyrics to a song. This acts as a band aid and will change your thinking long enough to eliminate the thoughts that created the anxiety. You could also recall a prior time when you were feeling confident to change your thoughts that will change your mood.